A Journal of a Blue Bird called Molly: Page 1- What You Need to Learn About Tunisians on Women’s Day
Place: Social Media
Time: Of Hollowness and Sarcasm
Characters: Hollow Persons
Two days ago, it was Women’s International Day. I’m a woman, and I do not give a damn about that day. I even hate celebrating my own birthday let alone celebrating a hollow event. I do not mean to be pessimistic or Tayeb Jaaba (wait, what’s female for Tayeb Jaaba?), I just see no reason as to why we should celebrate women as if they are some kind of minority who have struggled for decades to gain back what was once taken away from them: their God-given rights of freedom, equality, equity, and whatever privileges straight men get thanks to their straight penises. But, never mind me anyway. I’m just a woman, I must earn less than men because I am weaker, smaller and less intelligent than men, and I must earn less, that’s all! (and the award for best argument of the year goes to… Definitely not Janusz Korwin-Mikke).
Let’s now see what the great Tunisian people of the social media have been sharing on their Facebook accounts on Women’s day. I have a feeling that some of these people will be blocking me from Facebook once they see this (IF they even open the link!). But I truly hope that they will not deprive me from the valuable data they provide me with to inspire me to write more blog posts. Here we go!
1. The anti-feminists:
Who target feminists in their posts but make sure they won’t be accused of being an anti-feminist by adding two or three lines criticizing macho men. Results: I’m not a macho man, I’m a gentleman, and I love women but hate up-tight feminists.
2. The proud male-feminists:
Who state the obvious but get credits for what they say because they are ‘male’ AND they are standing up for women.
3. The male ‘intellectuals’:
Who succeed at making Women’s day about them by sharing their most good looking photo with them holding a book in their hands and a big ass status stating how intelligent they are and how women should marry bearded men who read.
4. The female ‘intellectuals’:
These ones are what I always like to call the “Look-at-me-I-know-about-history-and-shit” who share photos of dead feminists with a few French words on top. (Warning: I used to be one of these bad babes.)
5. The Mimic:
Who mimic the silly romantic conservative men of their society.
6. The Bullshit detector:
Who know that some men celebrate women’s day to enhance their ‘women’s advocate’ status in civil society. But they are also not brave enough to say it to these men’s faces, so they just write a status about it.
7. The pro-inter-dependent:
Who believe that men and women should be inter-dependent on each other.
8. The Oedipus-like:
Who think that Women’s day and Valentine’s day are Mother’s day.
9. The one who makes sense:
Who build upon the stupidity of some people to explain some shit to them. And yes, you don’t need to love women in order to defend their rights.
10. The Likes-hunters:
Who write a few silly lines in standard Arabic about how women are beautiful, great and feel better than Christmas, and how men are shit and bring nothing but more wars and trouble.
11. The Egocentric:
Who share their solo wedding photos with a ‘Happy Women’s Day’ on top of them as if their greatest achievement was getting married. No intention to be rude, but please tell me how you getting married added anything valuable to women’s long history of daily struggles.
12. The Legal Expert:
The ones I also like calling: The ‘Hey, Look at me! I’m wiser than you are, I know things about women’s legal status in Tunisia.’
13. The Atheists:
Who get pissed off by the double-standards of Islamic Feminism and by anything that has to do with religion.
14. The Poetic:
Who need to write something poetic about women, and now you need to make yourself throw up a couple of times till the feeling of nausea goes away.
15. The Activists:
With all their hashtags, shout-outs, slogans and fancy quotes. (I have plenty of these but I’ll just share a couple).
16. The radical feminist:
Or the homophobic… This one got me confused.
17. The reminder:
Who remind people of the real reason behind having a women’s day and who seem to be pissed off by those who make it about the love they have for their mothers and who talk about women’s roles in Islam.
18. The ones who think they’re funny:
We know you’re reverse-quoting Simone. Good for you. But, dude, ya ain’t that funny.
19. The sexist:
Who still think it is cool to make fun of other men by comparing them to women.
20. The “Daddy’s girl”:
Who brags about her dad being a feminist. (That’s me, by the way!)